The Roaring 20’s

2019 was a hard year, to say the least. A bit of an uphill battle at times. But, as hard as it was, it was also rewarding, and full of learning and growth. If this year has taught me anything, it’s that I can, and will, overcome hard things.

As crazy as this year was though, I feel that I did become a bit stagnant in parts of my life. I definitely put self-care on the back burner. My health has been all over the place. My house is a mess. My social life is lacking at times. This past year I’ve lost some friends, and even more hair.

I’ve never been a person to make New Year’s Resolutions. “I’m going to go to the gym more”, “I’m going to fall in love”, “I’m going to blah, blah blah”. As I’ve said before, if there is one thing I’m consistent at, it’s being inconsistent.

My plan for 2020 is to focus on ME. To say yes to more things that challenge me, and say no to more things that don’t serve me. I saw something on Instagram recently that really got me thinking:

Go ahead and read that again. And, one more time. I am pretty confident when I say that I’m not the only one who cares what people think. This can unknowingly guide us to live our lives in a certain way to impress or fit in with people we may, or may not even, know.

In 2020, I want to start to break free from this. It won’t be easy. But I know I’ll be so much happier when I start to focus on me, and less about what others think. I am a very insecure person. I am always comparing myself to others and wondering what they think about me. “Am I funny enough?” “I’m not as pretty as her”, “I’m too fat”, and so on. That is not a healthy way of living. I need to focus less on what others think, and more on what I think. And, honestly, I bet no one is even thinking all the things I assume, because… well…. anxiety.

A friend said to me recently that life sucks, but you have to find your little corner of things and people you enjoy and do the best with it. Again, that little sentence has really stuck with me. It’s so easy to focus on how shitty life is. I’ve had a year of that. Yes, there have been great parts that I’ve celebrated and enjoyed. However, I feel like I really only talked about how hard it all was. One major thing I am taking away from 2019 is that I can still be grieving (because that may never end) but still live a happy and full life. Don’t get me wrong, by sharing what I did helped me connect with so many people and form an amazing tribe of support. I will forever be grateful for that. Writing and connecting with so many people has really opened up my eyes to things and changed my life. I don’t plan to stop writing about the hard parts of grief, mental and physical health, because I feel like it’s important to remind people they aren’t alone in it.

I plan on sharing, and living more of the joys in life. Of pushing myself more outside of my comfort zone to make new friends and connections to have in my corner. To work on existing friendships to make them even stronger, and to be there for those who have been there for me so much. To work on my mental and physical health by working with Victus to learn and incorporate new healthy habits into my life. These new habits will hopefully get my fibromyalgia stabilized and maybe even help my alopecia. All of this will 100% help my mental health!

I’ve already started on pushing myself a bit and started a book club with my friend Jen in Phoenixville (and virtually for those who aren’t local), Books and Brews. I had the idea and talked about it, and finally had the courage to follow through! Feels good to already be starting on finding my little corner of things and people.

I plan to keep this momentum going and to keep finding the things that bring me joy, and push me and scare me (in a good way, not like clowns). 2020 is going to be another year of growth and discovery. And hell, maybe I’ll even write that book!

Get ready 2020, I’m coming for ya!

-J

We all float down here…

Over the past 13 years since being officially “diagnosed” with fibromyalgia, I’ve been open to trying pretty much anything for some relief. Lately I’ve been hearing a lot about float tank therapy to help with fibro, among many other things, and have been curious about it. So, when a good friend of mine found a Groupon deal for them at Stillpoint Yoga and Float, I was excited, interested and a little nervous.

We finally gave it a try today, and here is my experience!

What is float tank therapy?

Float tank therapy is where you lay in a bathtub-like pool either in your birthday suit or your bathing suit, whichever you feel most comfortable in. (Don’t worry, it’s a 100% private room) You do exactly what it’s called – you literally relax and float in a tub filled with about 1,200 pounds of Epsom salt and water. Think about when you’re in the ocean and buoyant. It’s like that, but super concentrated and powerful. All of the research I’ve done (and now, personal experience) shows that anyone, no matter shape or size, is capable of floating. The water is set to the temperature of your skin, so it’s not supposed to feel hot or cold. It was comfortable, but toward the end it started to feel hot, as if I was in a sauna. It also is said to work best with total sensory deprivation, which definitely made me nervous. I feel like I’m way too anxious to be left alone in total darkness and silence with just my thoughts. But, since the experience is all about you and what you prefer, you have options to have soft lighting or no lighting, and music (spa music or you own) or silence. There are also ear plugs available to help keep sound, and water, out of your ears. Note to self – use the ear plugs next time

Are there any benefits other than fibromyalgia relief?

YES! So many benefits. Here are some of the other benefits listed on the website:

• Stress relief
• Depression
• Anxiety
• PTSD symptoms
• Eliminate addictive behaviors
• Eating disorders
• Increased energy
• Alleviate physical pain
• Headache
• Lower blood pressure
• Relieve PMS symptoms
• Headache relief
• Improve sleep quality
• Increase motivation
• Improve concentration
• Meditation practice
• Personal growth
• Elevate mood

Since there is significant magnesium absorption, it can also help prevent cardiovascular disease and create healthier bones and teeth.

As I was reading this I was checking off almost all of the reasons I’d want to try it. Fibromyalgia? Duh. Anxiety? Yes. Depression? Yes. Increased energy and improved sleep quality? HELL YES.

**I feel like I need to say, that I am clearly not a doctor of expert of any kind, so this is all based off my research. Also, as great as this can be, it’s not a miracle box and to see long term and lasting results, you need to go more than once. Everyone will have different results and with most things in life, nothing is guaranteed.

What are the rooms like?

Don’t let the fact that they are located in a business park throw you off. As soon as you walk in the doors, you are transported into a spa-like atmosphere. It’s clean and beautiful with essential oils diffusing and soft music playing which will instantly make you feel welcome and relaxed. If it is your first float, or first float there, they will give you a full tour to make sure you feel comfortable and ready for your experience.

The float rooms each have their own name and little decorations to make them unique, but the tanks are all the same. You walk in and there is a large bench, shelf, and little amenities to make it personal and comfortable. There’s also a sign with the overall guidelines and tips and a basket with a mirror, ear plugs, makeup remover and petroleum jelly to put on any little cuts or scrapes you have. (Definitely do this recommendation. You really can feel even a paper-cut.)

• 

  Helpful tips

• 

  Shelf to put your belonings and a spot to plug in your music if you choose

• 

  Mirror, makeup remover, ear plugs and petroleum jelly

• 

  Main area of the room to prepare for your float

Before you float, you use the provided shampoo and body wash to get any dirt, deodorant, etc. off of your body so that you don’t contaminate the pool and so that you get the maximum results. After the float, you shower again to get all the salt water off but can bring your own toiletries if you prefer. The shower is right outside the float tank, so it’s so easy to get in and out.

• 

  Shower

• 

  Entry to float tank

• 

  Float tank (not as scary as it sounds)

Also in the float tank is a halo pillow you can use to help support your head and neck, which I did end up using. There is also a spray bottle with clean water and a towel, so that if you get salt water on your face or in your eyes, you can easily wipe it off.

How did it go?

I went into this experience with the least amount of expectations possible. Everything I read seemed positive but I didn’t want to give myself false hope.

When I first got in it was a weird feeling. I laid down and took a few minutes to get settled. I started with the light and music on, and ended up turning them off. I wanted to try and go for full sensory deprivation. It took me a long time to feel like I could settle my mind. Like I mentioned before, I am an anxious person and being left alone in silence with just my thoughts went exactly how I expected it to. I was thinking about life in general, this experience, how my friend was doing in her’s, and then anxious that I was too anxious and not enjoying it enough. After a little while more, I felt my body start to relax a bit. My arms, legs and back all felt like the tension was leaving and it was a feeling I haven’t experienced in a LONG time. I had issues getting my neck, head and shoulders to relax but I tried not to focus too much on that. Those areas hold most of my pain and trigger points, so I’m not surprised that I couldn’t really let that go on the first try. I don’t know if I fully fell asleep, but I did catch myself lightly snoring a bit (so attractive, I know) and doing that thing where your arm or leg twitches as you are falling asleep. Research shows that an hour of sleep in a float tank is equivalent to about 6-8 hours of normal sleep. I’d love just a fraction of that.

From an anxiety and mental health perspective I definitely got in some good thinking and soul searching. I left not feeling overwhelmed or anxious, and have an improved outlook on things from the time I spent really thinking about things.

In conclusion

Overall, it went well. If nothing else it was an hour totally unplugged from all outside distractions. It was relaxing (eventually) and I did notice an improvement in my fibromyalgia symptoms. I felt a bit rested, but also tired, as if I spent a whole day in the sun.

I definitely would benefit from doing it again. Next time I will know a bit more what to expect so I won’t be as anxious and will be able to get into the relaxation phase sooner. I also feel like the more you do this, the better the results. I may also do a 90 minute float next time go give myself a little cushion of time in case I am feeling anxious and have trouble settling in again.

If you have any questions or want to try it for yourself (and are in the greater Philadelphia area) definitely check out Stillpoint Yoga and Float. They can answer any questions you have and get you setup with a session. Tell them I sent you!

Week 1: A week of learning

If you read my last post you know that I am starting on a path of healthier living. I went into this knowing that I am not going to be perfect, and that it’s all about learning and putting forth a conscious effort. And, as expected, week 1 was far from perfect.

Saturday I got up and hit the grocery store with my shopping list. I bought everything I needed for my meal plan. When I got home and unloaded everything I realized that I maybe over-planned. Which I did. Luckily, I can roll some of last week’s ingredients into this week.

Next hiccup: waking up Sunday morning with a migraine. Not planned. Not fun. I still managed to prep 2 meals, but due to the migraine I didn’t eat too much.

Here are some of my favorite meals from week 1:

Turkey, pumpkin and swiss chard hash. Recipe called for cubed pumpkin, but all I could find was pureed pumpkin. Still tasted good!

Chicken chili soup. Recipe called for a spoonful of plain yogurt on top, but I liked it better without. Definitely will be great in the winter!

Hands down my favorite of the week. These simple sweet potatoes and brussel sprouts are incredible.

So, am I feeling drastically improved after week 1? The week of decreased pain? Definitely not. I didn’t expect to after just 1 week of a semi-improved diet. I know I wasn’t 100% by-the-book on week 1, but like I said before, I knew I wouldn’t be. I don’t want this to be a quick fix, so I’m not going to be too hard on myself.

This week I have some simpler meals planned. But, ironically, due to another fibro flare-up, I haven’t gotten to the grocery store yet. But, I guess that is part of why I’m doing all this. Trying to not get frustrated and listen to my body and rest it when needed. It’s just as tough mentally as it is physically. I have so many ideas, goals, and things to do, and it’s so hard when my body has other ideas. It’s hard not being “normal” sometimes. It’s hard asking for help. It’s just hard some days.

So, week 2, I’m ready for you. Just as soon as I pull myself off these heating pads…

Happy Sunday friends!

-J